Blame Insurance

Recently we’ve focused most of our energies on extracting painful memories from our past (or ‘making a withdrawal’ from the ‘memory bank’, if you prefer – it’s really up to you!) and identifying the Aggressor Victims on whom we can vomit our rage and, yes, hate.

But there are side benefits to this ‘memory dredging’ which can provide, if not lesser or equal, then at least greater personal welfare profits to you, both now and at other times after now, as well as in future.

What the HELL am I talking about? That’s a pertinent question, if somewhat crudely phrased.

WHAT I am talking about is this: Blame Insurance.

We’ve all come up against instances in our lives when our own negligence, incompetence, laziness or stupidity has caused problems for ourselves or others.

That can be AWKWARD. Many so-called ‘therapists’ will advise you to ‘be the bigger man’ or ‘woman’ and own up to your mistakes. Apparently, this is supposed to be ‘helpful’ somehow. But as we can see, it is NOT. It simply means more work for you in making this mistake ‘right’. And that’s a major hassle, no matter how you look at it.

This is where the HYWTH ‘Blame Insurance’ technique is so utterly indispensable.

You’ll need to do another trawl through your ever expanding mind-basket of painful memories for this one. The secret is to ruminate, at great length, on each and every aspect of these episodes, so that you can provide an ‘issue’ tailored to any potential circumstance where you may be blamed for wrongdoing.

For instance, in the example I cited earlier, I drew up this list of Blame Insurance Personal Issues that a hypothetical person who had endured such a trauma could employ:

1. Fear of rejection (a classic, multi-purpose BIPI)
2. Fear of women
3. Camping anxiety
4. Hospital shame
5. Firewood collection oral sex discovery confusion
6. Leg terrors
7. Fear of men
8. Car bonnet trauma
9. Sexual inadequacy rage
10. Fear of leaving one place only to discover that an important phase of the teenager-adult rite of passage has taken place while you were gone and that your essential goodness as a human being, in wanting to provide for and assist your ‘friends’ by offering them warmth and light, has been mocked in the crudest possible fashion, stunting your emotional growth and searing images into your mind that years later reappear in your nightmares, leaving you unable to explain your bed-soiling
11. Alcoholism.

These are all just simple examples of BIPIs. I’m sure if you thought long and hard about your own traumatic memories you could come up with a much longer and more detailed list for yourself.

After a while, you’ll have compiled BIPIs for most conceivable situations where you might be expected to take the blame for something.

For instance, let’s say that someone has asked you to provide a plate of food for a party. When you forget, or you can’t be bothered, or you have no clean plates, DO NOT WORRY. Arrive at the party as planned, and when you are asked for your plate, mention to your host that you have some ‘personal issues’ that have prevented you from carrying out their request, and offer to explain these in full in private. Nine times out of ten, this will be as much as you are required to do. If you are required to explain further, simply dredge up an old memory, isolate an issue that seems appropriate, and then begin to explain in absurd detail how this has impacted on your plate-bringing inability. Most people will stop you before the five minute mark!

Then – ENJOY the PARTY!

It really is that simple.

Any questions? Lemme know!

It’s a hateshack, baby!

Anthony


PS. Avid readers may have noticed that the evil fascists at Wikipedia have removed the entry I referred to in this post. This is because they are bastards and I hate them.
You should too!