Sea of Hate!

Hello again, you bastards! [I am kidding.]

If you have any kind of memory whatsoever, you’ll recall that last time we were talking about Socergy, the phenomenon of ‘Social Energy’ that exists, no matter what any pointy-faced academic do-gooder would have you believe.

The thing is that in and of itself, Socergy can be at best invigorating, and at worst personally destructive (see ‘Spontaneous Human Combustion’, mentioned last week).

The problem is that most idiots simply spray their Socergy around like the urine of a drunken Scotsman. In the 21st century, where even the most dickheaded of fuck-knuckles are aware of the importance of recycling, this is the equivalent of burning 400 acres of Amazonian rainforest a second while employing an army of coal powered robots to wrap the entirety of Tokyo in plastic cling film TWICE.

In other words, it’s wasteful. And it is also STUPID.

How MORONIC would you have to be to throw away the potential AWESOME POWER of Positive Negative Socergy? The answer is very. [Note: You may also be ignorant.]

As you might have guessed, the secret of Positive Negative Social Energy, or Pone Socergy, is focus. The real power of hate is only really truly effective when it filters out the extraneous and is focused on the individual or issue at hand.

Unfortunately, this means that in order to ‘Hate Your Way To Happiness’ you are going to have to think a little. This thinking is known as the Pone Socergy Analysis Exercise, or PS AnalEx.

An effective means of engaging in PS AnalEx, and thus Pone Socergy, is through the process of Resentment Fertilisation. RF can best be achieved at a distance from the target of your hatred. Therefore, if you are at a party, as in our earlier example, the best course of action is to storm noisily away from the gathering and return to your home, where your Resentment can best be Fertilised.

As you might expect of a ‘home grown’ hatred solution, Resentment Fertilisation works best in a cool, dark room. This may last days, weeks, or even months. The secret is in never allowing the mind to wander too far away from the object of your derision.

For instance, if you are thinking of eating some food, consider the individual who is the target of your RF. Think about the hideous way they are likely to eat their dinner. They probably bang their fork against their teeth, or allow small pieces of lasagne to fall from their mouth to their plate. Consider them wiping their mouth with the back of their hand. Obsess over the way they hold their cutlery in a slightly unconventional fashion.

If you have any evidence that this is true, you are at an advantage. However, potential annoyances can be just as effective in fertilising resentment as genuine ones, if you maintain your focus.

Continue to nurture your resentment by applying this technique to all of your day to day thoughts and ideas. A fun exercise can be to build a life-sized piñata/effigy of your enemy, then invite local children to demolish it. You can fill it with sweet treats for the children if you so desire, but I find that often the most satisfying option is to use blood. [Ask at your local butcher or blood bank.] This may surprise the youngsters, but it will also teach them a valuable lesson about considering the consequences of their actions. Their screams will add authenticity to your video footage of the symbolic party slaughter.

Once you have reached this level - once your resentment has fully grown and matured - you’re ready to get down and dirty with some PS AnalEx.

And that’s what we’ll be looking at next week!

Until then - keep that hate on your plate!

Anthony



[Key phrases this week:
Socergy
Pone Socergy
PS AnalEx
Resentment Fertilisation]