Everybody in the house of hate!

Oh yes! It’s ‘Hate your Way To Happiness’ time again! You look scrumptious. [I imagine.]

It’s time to get stuck into the ‘Post-Infant’ stage of Pone Socergy. I hope you’ve dredged up a suitably traumatic memory. If not, try harder, you idiot!

Many commentators have described the next phase of the programme as ‘revenge’, and this is accurate, in all but the most realistic of ways. In fact, I call it ‘sullying’. It’s more precise, and appealing!

The aim of this exercise is to subtly demean the reputation of your ‘Aggressor Victims’. It’s fun, but it can be a lot of hard work. In times past, many people have literally ALMOST DIED FROM EXHAUSTION in order to complete this task.

Sounds tough? Wise up, moron!

We’re living in the age of the internet, which makes reputation sullying a far simpler and more time-effective form of personal welfare satisfaction than ever before.

The internet has many wonderful uses, such as email and time wasting, but none more AWESOME than the power of Wikipedia.

Wikipedia is a kind of online encyclopaedia that is MADE UP just for the HELL OF IT by bored or vindictive people with plenty of time on their hands!

It’s your friend, so get to know it.

The easiest and most effective use of Wikipedia is simply to create an account for yourself, then make a new page about any of your Aggressor Victims, and set about assassinating their character to your heart’s content. Here’s an example. It’s about someone I know! [Not really.]

You can be as brief as you like, or you can really go in-depth with your grievance. be aware that others are able to edit your writing, but it’s a simple enough task to change it back to the way you like it.

If anything, it DISPROVES the maxim that ‘History is written by winners’!

The next thing to do is to make sure that your Wikipedia page is linked to by plenty of others. This helps with search engine results, which in turn means that the maximum number of people can see your slanderous and libellous rantings!

To help you get started, here’s a list of potential things you might like to write about people. I’ve used the name ‘Tom Hanks’ purely as an example.

Tom Hanks is an irritating man.
Tom Hanks is sadly lacking in personal hygiene.
Tom Hanks fails to indicate that he is about to turn corners when he is driving his car, endangering the lives of innocent pedestrians and other car drivers.
Tom Hanks employs 15 to 20 slaves, who he forces to praise him every 15 minutes, in increasingly florid language as the day goes on.
Tom Hanks litters.
Tom Hanks eats small, fluffy ducklings, vomits, and then looks at the vomit and laughs. He does this with his friend Jude Law.
Tom Hanks does not have a helicopter licence, yet he still flies a helicopter.
Tom Hanks thinks he is great, but everyone else thinks he is shit.

There you go! It’s not an exhaustive list by any means, but it should help to get you started!

Until next time – carry on hating!

Anthony